I used to feel so weird, strange and different. These were words that were used to describe me by others. This was shouted out to me, spoken to my face, said and shared behind my back. It made me feel so…well…weird, strange and different. Like there was something wrong with me.
It was other people seeing those parts of them in me. Those parts that aren’t typically ‘suppose’ to be shared when around others. Things like…the ‘woo hoo’s’ of excitement, the spontaneous spurts of skipping I do when feeling overjoyed, even some of the questions that go a bit deeper than your normal “how are you doing?” and thought provoking conversation starters that stimulated the mind a bit more than “what about that weather?”
I used to take what was said about me and internalize it, slowly believing that there was something wrong with me. I just didn’t fit in. If only I could conform then, I’d be accepted. But every time I held back on a “woo hoo”…didn’t ask a question I was most curious about, or share something that I thought was interesting…each time I internalized the hurtful words…I felt a part of me die from being denied.
One day, I asked myself ‘what is it that I like about myself?” and the more I questioned, the more I realized that it was all of the things that I had been ridiculed for. The things deemed as weird, strange and different. And it wasn’t that I was any of those things, but rather, I was wonderfully weird, uniquely strange and so magnificently different…and I absolutely LOVE these things about me and, it’s what I will notice first in others as that which I really admire and also love. It’s what makes us so fascinating.
Seeing these parts of myself in others helped me to learn how to embrace it within myself. I would see others so confidently stand within their wonderful weirdness, unique strangeness and within the magnificence of that which made them different. And they loved themselves and others seemed to appreciate them. Seeing this made those parts of me come alive again. It totally incited my spirit with recognition of something long forgotten. By learning to love what I saw in others, it brought me back to myself. Before, I used to feel jealous, pushed those qualities away from me. Through loving admiration, I am now able to draw those qualities close to me and embrace what I see as that which is also within me. By loving what I see in others…by believing in them…I learn to love, and believe in myself even more.
Dare to let yourself be known for all that makes you feel so wonderfully weird, uniquely strange and magnificently different. For in doing so you inspire all those who are witness the awesomeness of YOU.
I love what I see in me because I love what I see in you.
I never believed in me until I saw what was possible in you. Thank you for all of the ways you are so beautifully YOU.
Welcome to another moment of life
Havalynn-Havie Marie
