I have a son, who you’ll meet soon, but this week I’m sharing another story about Micha (mee-ka). Her most used line is, “No Mama, I do dis. I do dis!” At the ripe age of 2 she is determined to do things by herself. This includes putting her shoes on, going to the bathroom alone (she demands
I close the door ALL the way and leave her in peace to do her business) and everything else, from taking playdoh out of the tub to pushing the button to make peanut butter.
I admit: I like things done “my way”. Unfortunately, Micha likes things done “her way” so we butt heads frequently. The one time I especially want things “my way” is when we are leaving the house. I want to say, “We’re leaving” and Micha to react by getting her shoes and jacket on. Instead she does things “her way” which means her pace. I get frustrated.
I try to alleviate stress in my life so I’m working on a new approach: Do things on Micha-time when possible and on Mommy-time when necessary.
Instead of giving Micha five minutes to get ready, give her fifteen. Instead of saying something once and expecting immediate action, tell her once, give her a warning if need be and stay calm when taking away the toy she didn’t put away. Instead of rushing to clean up, sing the ‘clean-up song’ and be merry!
I want Micha to learn how to be independent. Most times I love when she says, “I do dis.” She says it with such umpf and such pride. She enjoys her constant growth in her ability to do for herself and others. She has become a great helper with Luca (my son). She gets diapers, puts his binky in when he cries, tickles and kisses him while I get dressed, reads out loud to him and tries to teach him things. Her “I do dis” list gets longer by the day. I easily forget she’s two and it takes practice to advance in speed.
My little “doer” amazes me. My husband reminds me to give her credit for all she does. I think this will happen more smoothly if I remember it’s okay to do things on Micha-time when possible. As parents we need to remember “our way” isn’t always THE way. We often think we’re the teachers and our children, the students. Truth is, we both teach and learn. Sometimes us parents need to give ourselves time to pay attention to the lessons we’re being given–one Micha keeps teaching me is to slow down and enjoy life a bit more. Let Micha “do dis” and watch–it’s fun to see!
Enjoy your little(s),
Angela M. Barbieri
I am a happy mother of two. I’ve written for as long as I can remember. Since becoming a mother, I’ve started sharing my writing to connect with others and share what I learn. I hope to support parents through my writing because parenting challenges us (understatement) but also allows us to relive innocent, new experiences through the eyes of our children (amazing!).
For more posts, (not all parent-related) check out: http://momange.tumblr.com/