Jeff said this to me earlier in the week. I keep hearing it repeat in my head. Usually, when I get overwhelmed with life (kids not napping well, teething, tantrums, too much laundry, cooking that needs to be done or no “me” time) I tend to take it out on Jeff. It’s the jealousy of his freedom that I dwell on, which isn’t fair or true.
Jeff says that I keep a scorecard. It’s true and again, unfair. I pay attention to all that I do and don’t tally fairly to keep track of all he does. Yet, he’s more loving and understanding than I.
Instead of my scorecard, I’m focusing on “if he’s good, I’m good”. It’s a new approach but a happier, healthier one. I’m glad I’ve taken it on because we’ve had some big changes in our normal routine. My father-in-law moved to our city and has been staying with us for two and a half weeks. On Monday Jeff leaves for the week (on business). Luca has been sleeping terribly, waking up every night. It’s difficult because he’s always been a good sleeper. Micha, has also changed her naps from 3-4 hours to 1.5-2 hours. She’s too excited with the new freedom her toddler bed (as opposed to crib) gives her. The less sleep plus the ripe age of 30 months, has her being a lot more defiant and testy than before.
So, with all the changes, my days are clean, cook, laundry, repeat. A month ago, I would’ve been miserable and taking it out on Jeff. Now, however, I try to find my Kairos moments and realize that “if Jeff’s good, I’m good.” He’s dealing with a lot too and we are lucky enough to have each other and to have two precious children, regardless of whatever challenges we’re dealing with. That’s life.
As I’ve learned from Carol’s positive message, it’s up to us to choose happiness. We can choose how we approach each day and how we act towards those around us. I want to be a happy person, loving and accepting of all that comes my way. It’s certainly not easy but it’s the way I want to live. So, no matter who’s sleeping or not sleeping, who’s coming or going from my house as long and they’re good, I’m good! I’m banking on you being good too cause that would make me even gooder 🙂
Hope you have a scorecard-free week and realize all that good in your life.