Micha rock climbed for the first time this week. She was scared at first, but as she practiced, she gained confidence. She found trail of grips she felt comfortable on, so she repeated her steps on those same stones. I suggested she try another path, but she resisted.
As humans, we often resist change. We are creatures of habit. When we find something that works, we repeat the same action over and over again. There’s no reason to mess with change if it’s unnecessary.
This week, change became necessary. Michaela has been extremely defiant. I reflected on my actions. My expectations were too high and my rules too many. It led me to do a writing exercise. I listed the different times of day (for ex: Waking up) and then wrote out phrases I say to Micha (for ex: It’s too early. Please lay down and sleep with us or go to your room, Micha). After writing out my daily phrases, I could see why she’s resistant to my voice and our communication poor. I had been feeling naggy and my words confirmed it. I wouldn’t want to hear my daily phrases for a whole day let alone over and over again!!!
After I wrote my actual phrases, I wrote out ‘what I’d like to hear (for ex: Good morning, Micha! How’d you sleep? Come snuggle with me!) It sounded better and felt SO much better. I put my positive phrases into effect as soon as Micha woke up from her nap (I wrote while she was sleeping). There was an immediate change. Since then, we’ve been communicating better and showing more respect to one another. She’s not nearly as defiant as she was. We’re both much happier too.
Treading on the same path works well as long as it serves you. When you keep getting stuck or running into the same stone (challenge), however, it’s time for a change. There are too many beautiful paths to wear a bad one down.
I’m so grateful I recognized the need for change and implemented a new plan. This week, I hope you find a way to get unstuck or make a change if it’s necessary. Life is too short and relationships too important not to make sure everyone is feeling good.
Have a great week!