If you find yourself living life less than you deserve, ask yourself ‘What excuses am I using?’ In Wayne Dyer’s book “Excuses Begone” he outlines 18 excuses we use on self-defeating thinking habits.  See if any (or all) ring true to you and then reframe them into a thinking pattern that uplifts you to be your best self.

1. It will be difficult

2. It’s going to be risky

3. It will take a long time

4. There will be family drama

5. I don’t deserve it

6. It’s not my nature

7. I can’t afford it

8. No one will help me.

9. It has never happened before

10. I’m not strong enough

11. I’m not smart enough

12. I’m too old (or not old enough)

13. The rules won’t let me

14. It’s too big

15. I don’t have the energy

16. It’s my personal family history

17. I’m too busy

18. I’m too scared

Now, you have no excuse not to shine!

Originally posted at All Things Positivity

Have you ever been stung by a bee? A wasp? A hornet? I sure have and it hurts! The initial sting is the most intense and slowly it lessens and fades. Why do they sting? Bees don’t start their day seeking people to hurt. Bees sting when they feel threatened. Bees sting as a protective device.

Bee stings got me thinking about people stings. Why do people sting you with their words and actions? Ah, people sting too when they are feeling threatened and need to self protect. Some people sting in response to others as they feel stung by your words and actions. Others sting first to keep you from stinging them. Is it possible that knowing the words and actions chosen by others are coming from fear rather than hate will lessen the hurt? Perhaps if you realized their harsh words and actions were there coat of armor (stingers), it would lessen the pain for you? Perhaps you wouldn’t take it as personally and be able to look beyond their hurtful words and actions and see the fear behind it. Perhaps knowing this, you wouldn’t swat them away as your own self protection armor engages and allow gentleness and compassion to show up.

Affirmation: I choose kind and loving words and actions.

(S)he Said:

“To carry a grudge is like being stung to death by one bee.” ~ William H. Walton

“Forgiveness is a funny thing. It warms the heart and cools the sting.”  ~ William Arthur Ward

“Speak with contempt of none, from slave to king, the meanest Bee hath, and will use, a sting.” ~ Benjamin Franklin

Music to My Ears:

Bringing Home My Babe Bumble Bee

Flight of the Bumble Bee  ~Maksim

For the next week I invite you to become aware of:

Your words – do they lift you and others up, or do they hold you back?

 Your reactions – do you knee-jerk react expecting what was said and done came from meanness? Or do you look behind it and see the fear creating the situation.

Your worthiness – by affirming and validating you are worthy of great love, great happiness, and great abundance. Others words and actions can’t sting you when you are filled with self love, as you fully understand you are simply a mirror of their internal fears.

Mostly, I wish you a week of seeing the good in you and others, seeing the love in you and others, and seeing the possibilities in you and others. When you see the honey rather than the sting, you allow goodness, love, and possibilities to expand.

Until next time, BEE good to yourself and others and have a positive focus kind of week.

The fact is – we sometimes let fear lead us and sometimes it comes disguised even when we are feeling positive. Last week, I blogged on Putting a Positive Spin on when you have to dig deep. The blog was about finding the positive regardless of the circumstance and I stand by that. However, I found out today that the article written about Christina Santiago, which compelled me to blog in the first place was not factual. CLICK HERE for the factual account of the coroners office.

After reading the retraction, I realized I had jumped to conclusions of assuming the worst of someone rather than assuming the best. I assumed a coroner from a conservative state would do exactly what the original article said – not release Christina to her partner due to discrimination rather than checking to make sure it was a factual story.

Sincere apologies for spreading fear although I packaged the fear in hope. I believe my old self of decades ago defending the underdog, met up with my new self, the one who knows all is well and perfect in this moment, blended together in that post. This apology/retraction is a good reminder to always ask yourself – is it better to be right? Or better to be kind. I choose kindness. How about you?

Big hugs and mucho love,

Carol

PF Founder & Vision Keeper

Living your best life can be that way as well. When you place your attention on happiness, appreciation, and gratitude rather than the how and whys of the outcome, your dreams will appear out of seemingly nowhere. The stress of begging for them to come, doubting their arrival, and the ‘work’ that takes place in creating them will be replaced with grace and gratitude. Your dreams will feel like ‘miracles’ instead of ‘work’.

Affirmation: My love of life grows through appreciation and gratitude.

(S)he Said:

“If we’re growing, we’re always going to be out of our comfort zone.” ~ John Maxwell

“You’ve got to do your own growing, no matter how tall your grandfather was.” ~ Irish Sayin

“When you blame others, you give up your power to change.” ~ Dr. Robert Anthony

Music to my ears

Grow Old With You, ~ Wedding Singer

When I Grow Up, ~ The Pussycat Dolls

Let It Grow, ~ Eric Clapton

For the next week, I invite you to let your dreams grow by:

Planting the seeds of living your happiest life by visualizing them. You can be general and plant seeds of love, health, peace, and abundance. Or you can paint the picture on what those would look like showing up in your life while adding on to the end ‘this or something better.’

Nurturing your dreams through appreciation and gratitude. When you appreciate the little things in your life, you allow that to expand into the bigger areas of your life.

Allowing the dream to unfold in the easiest and joyous way for all involved.

Mostly, my wish for you is the knowingness that even when you don’t see your dreams unfolding, that unseen changes are occurring to bring you the best version of what you are focusing on. Focus on love, health, laughter, happiness, and abundance, and let your dreams grow.

Until next time, simply let it grow.

Big hugs and mucho love,

Carol

Positive Focus Founder & Vision Keeper

With PF Awareness, I’ve asked people to send me their feelings for PF and positivity. Whether its the affirmative messages via newsletters or Facebook, or if particular events have had a positive impact on their lives. Its a privilege and an honor to share the messages of the PF Community and invite you to share them too.

Our first why PF comes from Preston and Emily Klik….

As leaders of a PF sister community, we love that PF is also nurturing and supporting
the simple virtues that the world so sorely needs: kindness (Free Hugs), happiness
(email inspirations), compassion (helping the needy), understanding (event programs),
and fostering uplifting community bonds (parties and gatherings). By focusing on the
positive, we undermine the influence of the negative, and we co-create more and more
beauty and love and smiles. The simple & pure joy of living begins to inform the quality
and texture of our daily lives, and a keen sense of sacred gratitude fills our hearts to
overflowing. Thank you Positive Focus for all you do!

Preston & Emily Klik
www.GivePeaceADance.com

So grateful to have Preston and Emily on this journey. If you would like to share what having a Positive Focus means to you, please send the to me.

Big hugs and mucho love,

Carol

Positive Focus Founder & Vision Keeper

carol@positive-focus.com

Be the best chef in your life by taking a pinch of several ingredients you choose, blend them together, keep them at a nice simmer, add more as needed, and enjoy your Happy Life recipe.

Affirmation: My life has the perfect blend of love, health, peace, and abundance.

(S)he Said: 

“What is the recipe for successful achievement? To my mind there are just four essential ingredients: Choose a career you love, give it the best there is in you, seize your opportunities, and be a member of the team.” ~ Benjamin Fairless

“There are three ingredients to the good life: learning, earning, and yearning.” ~ Christopher Morley

“The ingredients of health and long life are great temperance, open air, easy labor, and little care.” ~ Philip Sidney

Music to My Ears

Old Spice

Recipe for Love

~ Harry Conick Jr.

For the next week, I invite you to create your recipe for a Happy Life by mixing the following ingredients:

Gratitude: A healthy blend of gratitude is a key ingredient. When you can be grateful for your contrasting experiences it is a tasty treat of knowing you are on a path for a happy life. You simply know this is just a momentary experience that is helping you grow and evolve.

Love: loving you, loving life, and loving others should be a daily ingredient and used often. When challenges arise, ask yourself, ‘What would love do?’

Forgiveness: forgiving others is truly a benefit for your well being. Even more importantly is forgiving yourself for allowing others misdeeds to permeate your being. Forgive yourself for taking things personally or your involvement in the contrasting experience.

Trust: Trust in yourself knowing that each experience you choose whether caring or contrasting are part of your life path – you chose, so trust you chose well.

Allow: Everyone’s path is slightly different, some have more bumps, twists and turns, but each is the right journey for that person. Allow everyone to mix their ingredients for their life without judgment.

Mostly, I want you to remember that even the best cooks ruin a recipe on occasion. But a true chef doesn’t give up, (s)he just works on perfecting it. Have fun blending the ingredients to create your perfect recipe.

 
Until next week, happy cooking!

Big hugs and mucho love,

Carol

Dr. Sharyl Truty, Positive Focus Advisory Board Member

As I was driving this afternoon, listening to my Live Love Laugh Hug playlist, something my sister told me years ago popped into my held. We discussed a business colleague of mine that was driving me crazy. I’m a jump in and learn along the way person. She’s a study, read, think type person and then slowly move forward.  Neither way is better than the other, and on some level, I knew that to be true.

After listening to me discuss (okay – vent) about how SHE was taking forever to do something and SHE just didn’t seem interested in moving forward with the project at hand, my sister, who is an educational trainer, said “You know if you are frustrated with her, she is most likely frustrated with you too.” YIKES – it opened my eyes to the fact that I (lil ole me) could be frustrating to someone.

In that moment I was able to see that my ‘jump now think later’ methods and her ‘study, contemplate’ methods both have their time and place. My sister thought we would make a great partnership in business to balance each other. In the end, we were both too far on the spectrum of jumping and sitting, but our partnership ended amicably.

That scenario visits me from time-to-time when I’m ‘thinking’ someone isn’t moving fast enough for me – knowing the other person is thinking, slow down and lets think this through. It’s been a great reminder to me that true change comes from within. I am responsible for changing my frustration, not the person I’m frustrated with. Of course it’s nice if they do…but it isn’t needed for my happiness.

Today it popped into my head when I was listening (perhaps singing) to Michael Jackson’s Man in the Mirror – “If you want to make the world a better place, take a look at yourself and make the change.”

Michael Jackson – Man In The Mirror

Music has always been a big part of my life since I can remember. I remember making up dances to songs with my cousin Sarah to perform when my grandma would come to town and those dance numbers continued through much of my childhood and even young adulthood by making up a dance routine with my niece.

I’ve attended hundreds of concerts throughout the years from John Denver, Barry Manilow to Def Leppard and Ozfest. Favorite concerts I must say (were) John Denver, and are Jason Mraz, Bon Jovi, and Meatloaf.

So I often turn to music to elevate my mood – which frankly is often good anyway, but just better with the right tunes playing in the background. I have a play-list on my iPod called Live Love Laugh Hug filled with and continue to be added to songs that inspire me to be my best…to be happy.

I thought I’d share the songs of my play-list and possibly inspire someone to turn to music for a pick-me-up. And if there are songs that inspire you, please share with us….I’m always looking for new songs to add.

LIVE     LOVE     LAUGH     HUG

Aquarius/Let the Sunshine In – Forrest Gump Soundtrack

The Best Thing About Me is You – Ricky Martin featuring Josh Stone

Breakaway – Kelly Clarkson

Change – Tracy Chapman

The Climb – Miley Cyrus

Dog Days Are Over – Florence & The Machine

Don’t Stop Believin’ – Journey

Feeling Good – Michael Buble

Firework – Katy Perry

Heal The World – Michael Jackson

Here Comes The Sun – George Harrison

I’m Moving On – Rascal Flatts

I’m Yours – Jason Mraz

I Gotta Feeling – Black Eyed Peas

Imagine – John Lennon

Jai Ho – Slumdog Millionaire soundtrack

Jesus Take The Wheel – Carrie Underwood

Just the Way You Are – Bruno Mars

Let it Be – The Beatles

Live High – Jason Mraz

Man in the Mirror – Michael Jackson

My Wish – Rascal Flatts

Never Alone – Jim Brickmann featuring Hilary Scott

Never Surrender – Corey Hart

No One – Alicia Keys

One Day – Matisyahu featuring Akon

Peace Train – Cat Stevens

Pocketful of Sunshine – Natasha Bedingfield

Say Hey (I Love You) – Michael Franti

Somewhere over the Rainbow – Israel Kamakawiwo’ole

Sunshine Song – Jason Mraz

Sweet Serendipity – Lee DeWyze

Three Little Birds – Bob Marley

Unwritten – Natasha Bedingfield

Walking on Sunshine – Katrina & the Wave

What the World Needs Now – Four Weddings and a Funeral soundtrack

Will You Be There – Michael Jackson

With A Little Help From My Friends – Joe Cocker

With Arms Wide Open Creed

Here is to wishing you the perfect soundtrack for your life allowing you to dance in even the muddiest of puddles.

Big hugs and mucho love,

Carol

]]> http://www.positive-focus.com/2011/08/09/happiness-is-just-a-thought-or-song-away/feed 0 http://www.positive-focus.com/2011/08/08/fear-or-fiction http://www.positive-focus.com/2011/08/08/fear-or-fiction#comments Mon, 08 Aug 2011 19:00:46 +0000 Carol http://www.positive-focus.com/?p=1922

Have you ever wondered what’s holding you back from living your dream life? Do the Smith’s and Jone’s across the street truly have it better than you? Were you dealt with a hand that isn’t easily played and/or you choose to fold rather than play it out?

What hold us back from our truth, our destiny, our dream life, is our fears of not being enough to create that truth, destiny, or dream. We can easily identify big fears when we are worrying about finances, relationships, world crisis’s as they are prevalent. Because they easily show their ugly fearful heads, we can make needed adjustments as we are aware they exist.

How about the subtle fears that lie just beneath the surface? The ones that itch, but you don’t see any blemish on why it itches. The ones that cause you uneasiness, but you can’t put your finger on why you are uneasy. Those subtle fears are the hidden ‘I’m not worthy’ of living a life meant for Kings and Queens. They are hidden in judgment and jealousy for what others have or don’t have. They are hidden in the ‘I can’t do that. They are hidden in the little digs we make about ourselves and others that seemingly seem trivial.

Real life bogeymen often look like the nice neighbor rather than a monster we’ve seen at the movies. Our subtle fears hide behind a mask as well. Fear itself isn’t bad, it’s when we allow it to consume us, to paralyze us, and to imprison us in the belief that they are real concerns is when we allow fear to win.

Affirmation: I courageously step into living a life filled with love and laughter.

(S)he Said:

“We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face… we must do that which we think we cannot.” ~ Eleanor Roosevelt

“Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear, not absence of fear.” ~ Mark Twain

“I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.” ~ Nelson Mandela

“Do the thing you fear most and the death of fear is certain.” ~ Mark Twain

“Let us never negotiate out of fear. But let us never fear to negotiate.” ~ John F. Kennedy

Music to my Ears:

Thriller ~ Michael Jackson

For the next week, I invite you to toss fear aside by:

Loving what is. Love this moment. Love that you can feel fearful as you aren’t numb and continue to move up to a better feeling place.

Forgiving those fears that hold you back. When we allow anything to hold us back from living our best lives, it is serving us for that very moment. Perhaps you aren’t quite ready for that next step – and that is OKAY.

Mostly I wish you a week of being aware of those subtle fears so you can thank them for serving you, but now that they are in the light of day, you see there is no truth to that fear

Until next time, become the light of your life!

Big hugs and mucho love,

Carol

Positive Focus Founder and Vision Keeper